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Oh, the Adventures Ahead…

15 Feb

As ya may know, I’ve been R&R-ing at home with Pops since Christmas.  I’m loving it.  And it’s practically charity, given how happy it makes my Dad.

I’ve also been doing extensive physical therapy on the good ole left ankle.  Right from the start of this whole PT business, competitive Lucie came out, and I’m there trying to out-stretch, out-balance, out-hop, out-everything all the senior citizens that go to PT on weekdays at 10:30 a.m.

My therapist, Megan, slowly caught on and amped up my routine to the point where I’m now sweating so hard that my vision is blurry, and I can’t see anyone else.  Seriously, it’s like an NFL combine workout these days.  Which means… yay!, the ankle is almost ready for…

ADVENTURE #1: HIKING THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL, starting March 21!

The AT, in its entirety, is 2,186 miles long and travels through 14 states.

The AT, in its entirety, is 2,186 miles long and travels through 14 states.

Yup, I’m catching an overnight train to Georgia on March 20.  The next day, I intend to start hiking.  We’ll see how far I get, but at The Cheesecake Factory on Monday night, my family started a pool.  Cousin Ryan locked down 15 days (my Dad has the over), and Aunt Leslie bet on 46 (my Dad took the under).  Oh ye, of little faith!

There will, obviously, be a lot more to come on this front, but to boost Ryan’s spirits, I will admit that I can’t remember ever actually camping, like in a tent.  I do, however, recall many declarations that I would never go camping, including several to strangers on first dates.

So that should be interesting.

To stay busy between now and March 20, I will be undertaking…

ADVENTURE #2: A 10-DAY SILENT COURSE AT AN INDIAN MEDITATION CULT, hopefully starting February 27!

It’s called Vipassana meditation, and I first learned about it from a chick I met in Nepal.  It’s a 10-day residential course and is totally donation-based (even for food and accommodation).

I’m right at the top of the wait list for the February 27 – March 10 course somewhere in Quebec, Canada, and I have high hopes that I can slip in there.

Oh yeah, and did I mention that there is a little code of discipline while you’re there — no killing (of any being), stealing, sexual activity, lies, or intoxicants.  Okay, I’m thinking, I can do that.

Also, no speaking or any form of communication with anyone, including by gestures, sign language, written notes, etc.  Also prohibited is reading, writing, music, and any other conceivable form of entertainment (including cameras and phones).  Hmmmmmm, I’m thinking.

But what really sealed the deal was the course timetable:

Looks like we spend a lot of time in the f*cking hall.

Looks like we spend a lot of time in the f*cking hall.

So that should be interesting.

I thought the above two adventures would be plenty to keep me busy, but then I happened upon…

ADVENTURE #3: THE MEDIFAST DIET, starting soon!

A lot happened at the Monday night family dinner at The Cheesecake Factory.  My Aunt Karleen and Uncle Ricardo were in town for their annual visit.  Since their last visit, Karleen has lost 40 pounds on the Medifast diet (go Karleen!) and is now some sort of Medifast coach.  And so she’s sitting beside my dear beloved Aunt Liesel and is chattering on over the whole dinner — of bread, crab cakes, fish tacos, sweet potato fries, and cheesecake — about how Liesel really needs to go on the Medifast diet.  Finally, I’m like, geez, is this The Cheesecake Factory or The Medifast Factory?

Aunt Karleen, looking fine after Medifast!

Aunt Karleen, looking fine after Medifast!

Anyway, heavy Karleen-to-Liesel Medifast pressure continued throughout Tuesday and yesterday.  And then today, over our morning chat, Liesel tells me she placed her order and she’s going on the Medifast diet (which by the way is apparently 800-100 calories of some kinda powdered meal replacements).  Of course, you know me, I was like all pretty much supportive.

But then tonight (admittedly after stuffing myself with a giant chile relleno), I realized just how much this whole take-a-year-off-from-the-real-world business has leaked into my brain.  Because I’m thinking, you love Liesel and you know this could be an adventure like all your other adventures.  If you approached it like backpacking China or hiking the Appalachian Trail or joining some silent meditation cult — isn’t it possible you could learn something about life and the world and yourself?  At the very least, might it add a splattering of color to your life?

So I just signed up.  Like 10 minutes ago.

I haven’t told Aunt Liesel yet.  But now that I think about it, she is going to fracking choke on her Cheerios when she reads this tomorrow morning.  And then she’s going to drive over here and club me over the head for announcing to the entire fracking blogosphere that she’s going on a diet.  (That’s really bad, isn’t it?!  Sh*t.  I might be a horrible person.)

I promise that any further blog posts will be about only my own Medifast dieting.

Which should be interesting.